I'll Find The Way
by crookedsmile
Summary: The question of what is right and what is necessary...They have been trapped in a web of uncertain feelings that lead them to make foolish decisions.But the heart would never lie...
1. Chapter 1

I. Dried bones… Shattered Spirit

" I came here to… say goodbye…" Cagalli looked away from Athrun.

Athrun, who was also feeling the same emotion, remained quiet. He just stared at the transparentwall that displays the outside view of Earth. This was the same place where they had their first kiss.

"You… you're the only person that I have loved…this way…" she said to him.

" Please, don't make this hard for both of us," Athrun told her with sad eyes.

"Be happy…move on…"

Then she removed their _promise ring_. She handed it over to Athrun.

" There's still a lot of work to do," she continued.

" For both of us, this will just become a memory…" Athrun said with his eyes on her.

They sounded as if they have no regrets overthis decision.

But Athrun couldn't hide his emotions. He couldn't avoid the tears as they fell.

After handing over their ring, Cagalli turned and started to walk away.

"Wait!" Athrun called out to her.

She stopped.

" Please, tell me that you don't…" Athrun caught his breath. He doesn't want to continue those painful words.

Cagalli understood. She said what he wanted to hear.

"I don't feel _that_ way anymore," Cagalli lied.

"Then look at me in the eye. Say it to me." Athrun demanded.

Cagalli turned and met his eyes.

His were drenched with salty water. Hers were stoned.

" _I don't love you anymore._"

She continued to move away. But he caught her as she did. He pulled her towards him, and locked his arms around her in a fierce embrace. She refused to touch him. She remained still.

Eternity has passed. Athrun let her loose.

She tipped her toes and reached out for his forehead.

She gave him a kiss. Their last kiss…

Then she walked away.

A week later…

Kira was talking with Lacus. He was staying with Cagalli in the Athha's mansion.

Lacus was speaking to him through an on-line space communicator. She already returned to PLANTs and is currently one of the members of the Supreme Council.

" So…Athrun's left. How's lady Cagalli?" Her face was filled with sorrow. Kira noticed it.

" I rarely spoke to her these past few days. She's been very preoccupied…or she's deliberately making herself busy." Kira replied.

" Go check on her. I have a feeling she's not taking this lightly."

Kira, who shares the same opinion as Lacus, went to Cagalli's office.

It's almost midnight and the room's lights were still turned on.

He knew she was there, burying herself to forget.

"Cagalli. May I come in?" he asked as he knocked.

When no one answered, he opened the door and went inside.

Her seat was empty. He searched for her around the room. She's not there.

He looked at her table.

Her coffee was already cold, and the cup was half-empty.

The sheets of documents were scattered on the desk.

Her cell phone was there.

Then he went to the restroom to check.

He was beginning to feel worried.

He opened the door and searched around to switch the lights on.

As he moves forward, he stumbled across something.

"Cagalli!" he exclaimed as her body unfolds itself in front of him.

He was running. He couldn't remember what happened after. Everything was unclear.

She was in the stretcher and Kira was talking to her as he runs together with the doctor towards the Intensive Care Unit.

"Don't you _dare_ leave me…" he warned as the tears overflow.

But she couldn't hear him. Her eyes were tightly shut...as if she never want to open them.

"Please, sir. You can't stay inside," the doctor explained.

Kira backed away. He leaned on the wall and closed his eyes.

His cell phone rang. It was Lacus.

"I'm on my way. How is she?"

"I don't know… I don't know," Kira's voice was weak.

"What did you see in the restroom?" Lacus asked.

"Some pills… " Kira said as he tries to recall.

" She was cold. Damn it!" He was cursing himself for not going to her, a little earlier. After what happened, he felt so useless.

He remembered trying to awaken her.

But her body was too limp. Her dressing robe was on loose.

He turned the lights on and saw a piece of broken glass beside her. The pills were also scattered. It's like she has suffered from some terrible _pain._

"Kira… I'm with… Athrun. I told him everything. You want to talk to him?"

"NO." He said bluntly.

This is my the first chapter of my third fic. The next chapter will take a little while cause I'm going "on-leave" … bye for now...

-Crookedsmile.


	2. Chairs and Stones

II. Chairs and Stones

_" I'll find the way to bring you back…"_

Kira promised these words beside Cagalli's "lifeless" body.

It's been four months, and nothing has changed. She was still in the ICU, on comatose. She had suffered a great deal -**brain cancer**.

Athrun had a fight with Kira earlier.

" The doctor explained everything to me. _They_ can't do anything to save her… She will remain that way, forever…"

"There must be some mistake," Athrun replied.

" I'll take her to PLANTs. I know that naturals are more advanced than coordinators on things like these… but I have to give it a try."

"Athrun," Kira muttered in grief. "I… I have already decided. I can't stand seeing her like that. With all those machines connected to her body… it's pointless." He turned away from his best friend. But Athrun got the message, and this made him furious.

" You've decided to "kill" her huh?" he shouted.

Lacus heard their conversation. She went there to visit Cagalli, and was shocked upon hearing Kira's news about his sister.

"Oh no…" She whispered.

"I'm not allowing _you_ to decide things for her," Athrun continued.

"Do you think I'm doing this for my own sake?" Kira fired back. " This is hard for me, just as it is for you! I can't even do something to save her…" He was in tears.

" There is, _one solution_ though…" a voice came from behind.

Lacus was surprised to see _that_ familiar face, standing beside her. She as not aware of his presence… It was Shinn who has spoken.

Athrun turned around.

"Shinn…" Kira said." What solution?" he asked.

Athrun, who has long rejected _that_ alternative, replied to Shinn. " I will not allow _it_. We will have to look for another way… not _that_."

Kira was rather interested in Shinn's proposition, despite Athrun's violent objection.

"What solution?" Kira insisted.

Shinn took a deep breath. Then continued with his words.

"Because of her deteriorating condition, she must need "something" to sustain her life." He added. " She can be like _us_. She will not suffer from her disease, whatsoever…"

"You're suggesting of making her a _coordinator?_"

"No. A fully grown-up natural's genes can be modified, but its effects can't be achieved that easily. I'm talking about another alternative…"

A memory of some distant past flashes through Shinn's mind.

He was holding the corpse of a beautiful blonde soldier - his first love.

Stella…

" She will become an EXTENDED…a living CPU," Shinn finished.

Three months later…

Athrun was on his way to the hospital when his cell phone rang.

" It's Kira. She's woken up…"

Athrun suddenly stepped on his car's accelerator. He was waiting for this day to happen. All he wanted was to see her again. How she yells at him when he does those stupid things, and how she laughed in his arms. Tears were beginning to cloud his vision and he brushes them away. _His_ Cagalli was back…

He entered the room and saw Kira and Lacus, with the attending physician.

From the way they look, it seems this situation isn't worth celebrating. Kira was just staring at the window.

Lacus on the other hand, approached Athrun. She stopped in front of him and bowed her head to hide her tears.

"_It _was the best way… that we can do… sorry," she said meaningfully.

Athrun understood her message. He left the three of them and went to Cagalli.

She was there, sitting on her bed. The breathing apparatus and other machines were gone. She was looking at her hands -her eyes with inconceivable expression.

" Cagalli…" Athrun said. She looked at him. Her golden brown eyes glowed as the sun illuminated them. Athrun touched her hand. Her skin's color was back…

She was again, _alive_…

Athrun embraced her. She did not resist, nor cooperate.

And as he gazed at those eyes, her shattering words came out.

"…Who…you?"

Athrun held her against him. He broke down.

"Why… crying?" Cagalli's words were cryptic. "Why…"

Shinn was standing on the doorway, watching the two of them. He was reminded of_ his_ past.

"Shinn…Don't want to… die!" 

"_Protect…Stella!"_

The sun suddenly hid behind the thick clouds, leaving the room on a sullen mood.

Kira and Lacus entered the room.

"She almost died last night. When she _coded_, I panicked. I called Neo… I mean Mu. He gave me the contacts of those scientists who can perform the _Extended_ conditioning. There happens to be a hospital where extended conditioning can be done for patients with _"hopless"_ cases like hers," Kira explained.

_Code-a medical term when the body functions that sustain a person's life stop (i. e. hearbeat, respiration)- that could lead to death._

" She underwent the procedure… for five hours, 'till the morning," Lacus continued.

" We… did not inform you, because we thought you'd resist."

Athrun didn't respond to anyone of them. He was still holding Cagalli.

Cagalli on the other hand, pushed Athrun away after seeing the familiar face …of her brother.

"K…Kira…" Her eyes were wounded.

Kira understood. Cagalli was confused about everything. She didn't know who these people are, because only _his _memory was the only one retained on her mind… he discovered.

"Please, I think she needs to rest now…"Kira said to the others.

Athrun said he wanted to be with her a little bit longer.

"I'll watch over her," he said to Kira.

Kira on the other hand replied: "We will talk some place other than this. She needs to rest…"

Lacus held Athrun's hand as a gesture that they have to leave.

Athrun once again approached the bewildered Cagalli and kissed her on her temple.

Everyone left, except Kira, who stayed beside his sister.

Cagalli embraced him and closed her eyes.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Kira asked while running his fingers through her blonde hair.

Cagalli shook her head.

"I'll stay with you. Just rest now…"

The clouds were beginning to feel heavy, just like the realizations that occurred within Athrun. He remembered his words when they broke-up not so long ago…

"For us, this will just be a memory…" 

How does it feel to be forgotten?

Would memories matter if none of them were worth remembering?

I took a few changes from my original plans for this story (after watching SEED Destiny-again). I hope you guys already found out what I'm planning to do with this one. If you're still unsure, then watch out for the succeeding chapters, which could take another while. Thanks for reading…

-crookedsmile


	3. A Rush Of Blood

III. A Rush of Blood To the Head

It was a week after Cagalli has recovered from the state of coma…

"You can now take her _home_," the doctor said.

"She will come back here however, for her monthly check-up and _conditioning_."

Kira, Lacus, and Athrun listened to the doctor's advice.

After that, it was them who engaged on some serious talk.

"She will return to the Athha's mansion, and I'll look after her," Athrun suggested.

"_We_ will look after her…" Kira stressed.

"Did the other members of the assembly know about her condition?" Lacus asked.

"The newly appointed representative knew that the _extended procedure_ was done. He said it would be unwise to spread this…news." Kira replied with regret.

"Their Goddess of Victory had _fallen_, but no one knows about it. To everyone, she will remain as the headstrong leader that Orb once had," he added.

"…But not for_ us_," Lacus concluded.

Athrun remained silent.

(end of scene)

"Hey Cagalli, guess what - we're going home!" Kira said ecstatically as he entered Cagalli's room.

But _she _did not reply. She was busy… tracing the images reflected on the windowpane. The sun was retreating, and its orange glow made a dramatic effect on _her_ eyes, as she does that childlike gesture.

Athrun went with Kira to her room. Lacus already left because she has to go for an emergency meeting at PLANTs.

"Busy huh…" Kira continued as he approaches his sister.

Upon hearing that familiar voice, Cagalli turned and jumped off her seat to give him a big hug.

"Kira… you're here!" she exclaimed.

Athrun was watching them and maintained his _distance_.

Upon seeing Athrun's face, Cagalli started to have that worried look. Kira saw her reaction, so he asked Athrun to come nearer.

"Cagalli…" he started. " This is Athrun…"

Kira was quite uneasy while doing this.

"_Am I actually introducing him to her?_" he thought

Athrun stretches out his hand - a sign that he's acknowledging this _introduction._

Cagalli's innocent eyes met Athrun's. For some reason, which she didn't understand, those golden-brown eyes became misty.

She stepped backwards, as if she remembered something… some memory of him that hurts her.

Athrun's hand kept itself on midair. Then, he bowed his head to hide his tears.

"You're… crying…" she said as she _recalls_ that day when he visited her… but a more distant image came flashing through her mind.

_This will just be a memory_… 

She couldn't understand what that means. Something in her mind tells her not to trust this person. But her heart was beating so fast.

Athrun, upon hearing her words wiped his eyes.

"No. I was just… happy… to see you," he said with a painful laugh.

They arrived at the Athha's mansion. Every servant of the household was there, waiting. But the smiles were all a fraud. All of them knew what happened, and they were deeply saddened by it. But still, they couldn't show their feelings, just as Kira said to them.

"_It's harder for me to pretend, but I will do it. I don't want her to feel that she's different. Please, I need your help."_ Kira said this to the house servants, and to everyone that knows what happened.

"This, is where we live…" Kira said as he guides Cagalli out of the car.

Athrun was there too. He was observing Cagalli's reaction upon seeing her home.He too, once lived _there_ - when he was still working as her _bodyguard_.

Cagalli was amazed upon seeing the place.

She took a few steps forward, ignoring the eyes of everyone as they watch her. She was looking through the spacious halls that lay before her. She touched the carved stone on the main entrance, showing the Athha's family symbol. Kira approached her.

"Do you remember anything?" he asked.

Cagalli shook her head. She continued to move forward. In her mind, images of memories appear, but she couldn't understand what they are.

She saw an old man with long gray hair, in the midst of the flames…

Then, a picture of a woman holding two babies - one brown haired, the other, blonde

- then a **_golden mobile suit_**.

She lost her balance while contemplating on these thoughts. Athrun immediately rushed forward.

He held her as she falls to the ground.

She looked up at him. He was holding her hand…

She looked at hers… and saw something that was _missing_…

"Where…is…_my_…**ring**?"

Athrun lost his breath…

Cagalli's eyes were questioning…

"She remembered- our ring," he thought. 

But then, the reality of her words sank in.

"_Where is **my**_ _ring?"_

He couldn't understand why… why can't she remember anything about **him**. This reality hit him, and the wound was deeper than anything he can imagine. It's even worse than death itself…

He helped her as she stood. Kira came to them.

"Are you okay?"

Cagalli just nodded. To Athrun's surprise, she threw herself to Kira and embraced him. Kira was also surprised with _that_ gesture.

"_My_ ring… where is it?" Cagalli asked Kira.

Kira gave Athrun a meaningful look.

_Is she referring to your promise ring?_ Kira's eyes were conversing with Athrun's.

Athrun nodded in approval.

(end of scene)

She got tired of wandering around her _own_ house. After two hours of doing so, she decided to rest.

Kira was with Athrun in Cagalli's private office.

" I have a lot of questions," Athrun began.

"So do I…" Kira continued.

They have invited her doctor, as well as the scientist who performed the _extended conditioning_ for an afternoon tea.

"There are a lot of changes in her behavior, as you can see now," the scientist explained.

"Her memory was subconsciously erased after her therapy with the drugs that we've given. But we are _hoping _that it's just a temporary state of amnesia."

Athrun asked about her memory of _their_ promise ring - which she only referred to it as _her _ring. He said he couldn't understand why _his_ memory wasn't included when she remembered it.

"There are a lot of unexplained changes in a person who receives the _extended conditioning_," the doctor explained.

"Some people's feelings changes… from love to hatred. Some memories either good or bad will appear to them as if it was real. Even a person's memories of other people change," the doctor let his last sentence hanging.

"What do you mean by that?" Kira asked.

"As I suspect in your sister's case… _she_ doesn't know that _you_ are her twin brother. You appear to her as someone who's even more special… a boyfriend, or lover…"the doctor explained.

"What can we do about it?" Athrun was a little troubled by that revelation.

"We can't do anything about it right now. But we are hoping that as her condition progresses, she would eventually return to …normal."

The doctor's words were heavy, as if Athrun couldn't take it. He was hesitating to ask Kira the question, but he did it anyway.

"What are you going to do now?"

Kira took a deep breath.

"I'll play the part… for her," he replied.

On the kitchen, one of the maids accidentally broke a piece of expensive china…

The sound echoed along the halls… it was like a cry…

Cagalli's eyes snapped open.

Moments past… Kira and Athrun were running towards her room.

She was shouting…

Athrun was the first one to enter. He searched around for her.

Kira ran immediately towards her bed. It was stained with blood.

"Kira!" her eyes were panic stricken.

"Cagalli!" Kira shouted as her rushes forward to see her.

She was crouching beside her bed. The lampshade was broken.

Athrun ran towards them upon hearing her voice.

Cagalli's hands were bleeding… they were full of scratch marks. Athrun obtained a piece of fabric from her closet and tied this on her hands, as Kira searches around for her dressing robe.

"…_ he_ will kill me," she said.

Athrun held her in his arms, but as she looks up at him… she screamed again.

"I don't want _you_!"

She ran towards Kira and hid herself on his back.

Kira was rather saddened by his sister's reaction of total hostility towards Athrun.

"Shh… don't cry anymore," Kira said as he hugs her.

"She said _someone_ was trying to kill her…" Athrun said. His sorrow towards Cagalli's behavior was beginning to show.

"That man… with _that_ armor… I'll kill him," Cagalli said with anger.

The three of them were not aware of the unexpected visitor, who immediately rushed towards Cagalli's room after hearing the news of her panic attack from one of the servants.

(end of scene)

_He _was holding a bouquet of roses… _he_ just wanted to see her, after hearing that she already went home after the extended conditioning.

As _he_ stands on the doorway of her room, her bloodstained self revealed itself to _him_. _He_ was shocked.

"What happened here?"

Cagalli was the first one to notice as he spoke.

"It's… him!" She pointed towards the doorway.

Kira and Athrun's eyes diverted towards the _source_ of her panic.

On the doorway, standing before them… was _Shinn_…

This short chapter was inspired by my favorite song by coldplay… yeah. Upon hearing the song, I suddenly went to the computer and type…

I do experience such impulse…


	4. Censored memories

_Censored Memories_

" What happened?" Shinn said as he enters Cagalli's room.

" You… bast..!" Cagalli cursed. She wasn't able to finish her sentence because Kira covered her mouth with his hands.

Athrun went to Shinn. He grabbed his arms and took him outside, out of Cagalli's view.

" I didn't do anything!" Shinn protested.

" _Me _either…" Athrun said without looking. " But… she _hates_ us."

They went to the veranda and Athrun explained everything to Shinn.

Kira was with Cagalli. She seems to relax after Shinn's departure.

She was resting on Kira's arms.

" Are you okay now?" Kira asked.

She looked up at him and nodded. Her hands were swollen because of the scratches. Kira used the emergency kit on her room to tend to the open wounds.

He was wiping her hands with hydrogen peroxide, when Cagalli said something that made Kira stop.

"Where…is…my…_ring_?"

She was once again looking at her hands.

He had no choice. He has to do it. He reached out Cagalli's face and said.

"You _lost_ it. I'll give you _another _one."

Her reaction was unreadable. As if she didn't want to believe.

How could she believe? She barely understands anything.

Someone who cannot _understand_ isn't capable of believing.

Three nights without panic attacks…

(end of scene)

"That's good," Lacus sighed. She was visiting Kira and Athrun. They explained what the doctors said, and Lacus says that if they pretend to be what they appear to her, then it would lessen her anxiety.

Miriallia, Yzak, and Dearka went there earlier to pay a visit.

But they weren't able to speak to her.

She didn't know them… as usual.

"I'm worried about her, deeply," Miriallia confessed.

"All of us are, but we can't do anything about it," Dearka added.

Yzak wasn't speaking and was indulging on a deep thought. He tried to speak but he soon held back his words.

"Poor Athrun…" Mir said as she watches Athrun follow Cagalli while she strolls in the garden.

"She wasn't even speaking to him, but he still _follows_ her for heaven's sake!" Dearka said distastefully.

" Maybe Athrun could do better than that for her to notice and remember him…" Yzak suddenly spoke. " That isn't enough to heal the pain."

(end of scene)

She was picking some red roses. Athrun realized that she prefer red roses than white.

At least one of the things he knew about her remained consistent…

She prefers **red**.

He was with her for almost an hour, but she _barely_ notices him. Didn't even bother acknowledging his presence. He was taking _everything_- eyes closed.

Kira told him earlier to watch over Cagalli because he will be leaving for two days.

It took a hard time for Kira to convince his sister to let him go.

(flashback)

" I'll be leaving you, for a while… but you'll be ok," Kira said. Then he looked at Athrun. " He will watch over you…"

Cagalli was on the verge of crying upon hearing those words. Then, the tears fell.

" No…" she sobbed. She embraced him tightly. Kira's shirt was already drenched with her tears.

Separation anxiety.

" I'll be back, I promise," Kira said.

" Leaving me…alone," she continued.

Her words had a stinging effect on Athrun.

Leaving me- alone 

It reminded him of something… something that _he_ had done.

"You will not be alone. He will be with you." Kira pointed towards Athrun.

She gazed at his sad eyes.

He saw those brown orbs drenched with tears. She did not blink- neither did he.

She didn't look happy.

He just nodded. Acknowledging her hostile feeling… accepting every bit of pain that she's subconsciously inflicting on him.

(end of flashback)

She was about to pick the last rose among the clusters, when he heard a sudden cry.

He rushed forward to check.

Her fingers were bleeding… the thorn was still there… piercing her flesh.

He grabbed her hand to look at the wound. She did not retaliate. He pulled the thorn out of her skin… and the blood suddenly squirts out of the opening.

He couldn't find anything to wipe it out.

Instinctively, he placed her bleeding finger on his lips. He sucked the blood…to make it stop.

_She was making him bleed…and he's reluctant to bleed himself **dry…**_

She caught her breath upon feeling his warmth around her fingers.

The bleeding stopped. They were staring at each other, for the _infinite_ time.

The flowers were lying on the ground.

His eyes were blank… shocked.

She locked her lips with _his_.

Instinct? Or a censored memory?

He wasn't sure.

She lifted her head … stood and walked away… leaving him in the cold.


	5. Promise

Kira left with Lacus. He will be with her for two days in the PLANTS.

They were driving on the busy streets of Copernicus when Kira remembered something as they passed by a jewelry shop.

_Cagalli's ring._

"Something the matter?" Lacus asked as Kira stopped and looked at the glass window.

"We'll stop for a while, okay?"

"Why?" Lacus was puzzled.

Kira looked straight ahead. It took some time for him to answer.

"I have to buy _her _a ring."

"Cagalli?"

"Yeah…"

The car stopped. But neither of them was leaving.

"She kept on asking where was her ring… their _promise_ ring."

"I see," Lacus just whispered.

Kira suddenly realized what's going on her head.

"Don't think it'll have a special meaning…err..she's my sister."

"I know," Lacus replied.

They drove in front of the shop and Kira went there first.

Lacus was walking behind him. Quite distant.

_It was me who bought **our** ring… yet you're buying one- for her_ – she thought.

(end of scene)

The first night… without Kira.

Athrun went to Cagalli's room. Holding a tray on his left hand, he knocked at the closed door.

No answer. He knocked again.

Still- silent.

He twisted the knob and went inside.

She was there, facing the large window, curled into a ball.

"I brought you some dinner…"

She wasn't paying attention.

He went on the bedside and placed the tray on the table. He sat by the bed, beside her.

"Don't worry, _he _will be back," he reassured her.

She was sniffing. She'd been crying since afternoon, after Kira's departure. It only stopped when Athrun decided to take her for a stroll in the garden… where she kissed _him_- unknowingly.

"You have to eat… _he'll _kill me if you starve," Athrun joked. He was getting used to this one-way conversation with her.

She was still sobbing.

Athrun remained there. He too, stared at the window.

Began reminiscing everything that they shared when she was still _his_.

He went to the window- unlocked it, and soon, the cold wind outside started to rush in. He returned to where he was settled.

He looked at her- shivering.

He was surprised when that soft hand of hers began to reach out to him. She placed her hand on his lap, and the other on his sleeve as she raises her head and stretched out from her previous position. He helped her as she sits up- beside him. Her eyes were already sore. He saw them.

_Is this what she looked like back then…when **I** left her?_

He wasn't prepared to what she'd done next…

She embraced him.

"Kira…left me…alone." She wasn't crying anymore.

His hands remained on the side…but as soon as she uttered these words, he began to caress her back.

"I…will never leave you, I promise." He uttered those words.

Words that only lovers who are foolish enough to say it- and give such meaning to it- a promise of devotion. He never said that before.

He joined her as she ate dinner. He fixed the dishes on the tray, and started leaving when she said something that almost made him drop everything that he's holding.

"Be…with…me…Athrun."

First, she already remembered his name. And the words that had gone with it was

_Be-with-me_.

He looked back at her, and then placed the tray on the table. He couldn't hide the joy that he felt upon hearing her say his name.

"You remembered me?" He was smiling.

It took a while for her to answer… she shook her head. _No._

But he knew it. She remembered him as someone who stayed with her. It isn't important if she doesn't remember what he totally means to her… the simple memory that he engraved on her mind was enough -enough to make him happy.

He was in tears.

He sat beside her as she drifts off…in a dreamless sleep.


	6. Warning Sign

It's been _three _days and Kira hasn't returned yet. He called Athrun and told him he couldn't get home as he promised…

"Cagalli would be very upset once she finds out," Athrun worriedly said.

"I couldn't leave Lacus either," the voice on the phone said.

"Anyway, try to 'entertain' her so she wont notice that I haven't come back yet. And if he does, tell her I bought her something _special_ that's why I haven't returned."

Athrun was a little curious about that _special_ present that Kira bought for Cagalli. But he didn't bother asking.

What Athrun had feared for came true. It's 3 pm and Cagalli was restless. She kept asking him about Kira.

"Kira…not yet…here?" Her innocent eyes were questioning.

"He…um…did something _important_. Bought you a 'gift'."

The first few times she asked this, the answer was the same.

However, after two hours, Cagalli's mood began to change.

The maid told Athrun that she was again having an 'attack'. Athrun hurriedly went to her room.

The vase was broken; the sheets were on the floor, and her picture was smashed into two. The broken pieces of the glass frame were there, piercing the carpet.

He immediately ran to her bed. She was there… her eyes- stoned.

"What do you think you're doing?" Athrun said as he approaches her.

Her hand was holding a broken piece of glass.

"You…liar!" She raised the broken debris- ready to slash her wrist. Athrun immediately jumped at her, pinning her down the bed.

"Liar!" Cagalli kept on shouting.

"Stop it!" Athrun hissed at her. He took away sharp glass… wasn't aware it already cut through his skin.

"Liar!" She was crying.

"Cagalli, I told you Kira would be back. I'm not lying…" He said as he embraced her. She was crying…and her sobs were getting louder.

"You…and Kira… all of you!" She shouted as she pushed away from him.

_Had she remembered something? About a broken promise? _

The maid shouted upon seeing Athrun's hands.

"Master! You're wounded!"

Athrun looked at his right hand. The broken glass was there, embedded in the middle of his palm.

Surprisingly, he felt no pain.

He has gone numb after all.

Cagalli saw it, as the fresh blood drips out of the wound. She remembered the thorn… the red roses, and the kiss.

She wiped her eyes and looked at him. Never blinked.

She went closer to him. Athrun on the other hand, instructed the maid to get a piece of cloth. The wound was deep, and never ceases to bleed.

She was beginning to touch the wound when Athrun said she should stay away.

She held back, like a child guilty of some offense. The maid hasn't returned and Athrun was a little bit irritated. He was wiping the blood with his other hand.

Suddenly, a ripping sound was heard. He froze…

She ripped the sleeves of her top, and immediately placed this to the bleeding wound.

She tied a knot into it. The cloth immediately turned red. Still bleeding.

"I…sorry…" she said with teary eyes.

Athrun shook his head. "It's okay. I'll pull though…"

Two hours had gone by. She's already at ease. The wound stopped bleeding.

Athrun received a call from Miriallia. She said they would be spending the next two days at the beach. Athrun told her about Cagalli's anxiety, and she suggested that he'd take her out and spend some time with them, for her to forget about Kira's absence.

"That would be a good idea…" Athrun said. Then he hangs up.

He went to the garden and saw her staring at the setting sun.

"I have a good news. We will be going _outside_ tomorrow."

He told her that they would be spending the next day with _their_ friends. Since she wasn't capable of remembering who they were, he described each one to help her remember.

"Miriallia… the orange-haired girl, Yzak- the quiet one and Dearka- the dark skinned perky guy…"

She nodded. Remembered that these three went to her house a couple of days ago.

"You weren't able to meet Lunamaria and Meyrin."

Cagalli's brows tied into a suspicious knot after hearing the latter word.

Athrun had an easy impression that she dislikes Meyrin, even before meeting her. Such a prejudicial attitude… but who knows what she remembers about Meyrin?

They left early but came in late. She was very happy to see the beach. They had a long stopover at some café…She said she wanted some frappe, and they had some while having a nice view of the sea in at the café's lounge.

It was Athrun who stepped out of the car, first. Then he helped Cagalli.

Mir was there, holding a tray of meat.

"Hey, we thought you weren't coming!" she greeted the two of them. She went to Cagalli.

"Hello…"

Cagalli felt her warm smile. She smiled too.

"I think she's going to like me," she said to Athrun.

Dearka saw them.

"Man it's good you came to… Oh," he bowed in front of Cagalli. "Hello ma'am…" he gestured as a sign of respect.

"Come, the others are in the kitchen," Mir said as she leads them inside the rest house.

They entered the house, and it's Luna and Yzak that they saw on the hallway.

"You're here!" Luna exclaimed. She smiled at Cagalli. Cagalli felt awkward and went behind Athrun.

"I heard some shouting. Are you guys fighting?" Athrun asked.

"We were having trouble with the barbecue. I told this silly guy," she pointed towards Yzak. "… to use the electric broiler. But he said it would be better to use coals instead."

"Either way, the result is the same." Athrun concluded.

"I don't want to have black soot on my face!"

"You're just being vain. You're not that pretty anyway," Yzak countered.

"Why you…Meyrin, I wont be joining this guy. I'll exchange duties with you!" she shouted at her sister, who's busy chopping some spices in the kitchen.

Meyrin went out of the kitchen to complain. She was surprised to see Athrun and the girl next to him.

"Oh… Hi…" she just said.

Athrun smiled at her. Cagalli's brows rose.

She instinctively pulled Athrun towards her.

Luna noticed Cagalli's reaction towards her sister.

"Has she remembered anything," she whispered to Athrun.

"I doubt." That was all he can say. Then- a phone call.

"Yes… Athrun said as he answers it."

"It's Kira…"

The view of the ocean was magnificent as it displays itself on the large window before her. Cagalli went outside… reluctant to have a closer look. Athrun was still talking to Kira when she left.

Walking along the sandy shores, she stretched out her hand and closed her eyes. When she opened them…the pupils started to shrink…

The wind was now stronger, and the waves were closing in.

She couldn't breathe.

The _figure_ in front of her had the similar reaction. But _hers_ was literal. She couldn't breathe and she's gasping for air as she collapses to the ground…

He immediately rushed forward to anticipate her fall.

Her eyes were locked as it stares blankly at the sky.

_"Hey! Snap out of it!" _he shouted as he shook her, but she isn't responding.

Everyone was shocked. Athrun dropped his phone, as Meyrin with her knife…

upon seeing Shinn as he stormed inside the house-carrying Cagalli's limp body.


	7. This one's gonna bruise

He was walking along the beach… the others were busy doing some cooking- he doesn't know how to cook…

The waves were bigger this time of the year, and the season's definitely hotter.

Not long after, he saw a figure, a few steps away from him.

A girl wearing a green dress, with honey-colored hair- walking with eyes closed, and arms stretches on her side- as if embracing the world before her.

Was it a dream- had it happened before?

_He_ remembered saving a girl from drowning back then. Also had a blonde hair.

"No," he thought. This girl, in front of him, was the one he considered as an enemy- _back then._

He wasn't finished contemplating with the sight when her sudden panic-stricken face surprised him

She opened her eyes and as he saw those orbs, she began to gasp, as if she couldn't breath.

She couldn't breathe… and it was real.

He ran to her as she collapses. Got her just in time for her to hit the earth.

He was shaking her to wake up- she's not asleep. Her eyes were wide open, but they were locked to the skies- the color was gone.

He panicked. He felt her pulse. It was weak. He tried to revive her. He _covered_ her mouth with _his_- giving some air. Nothing changed.

He ran towards the house, carrying her fragile body.

"_Damn it! Why does she always have to be this way when she sees me!" _

He was trembling as he appeared to the others.

"She- collapsed. I don't know why."

Athrun rushed forward and took her from Shinn.

"Cagalli!" He shook her. Felt her pulse.

Yzak and Dearka helped Athrun as he laid her on the wooden sofa.

"Do you have her doctor's number?" Mir asked.

"It's on my phone…"

"I'll get it…" Luna said as she searched for the phone.

"She's still breathing," Shinn said.

"Are you sure you didn't do _anything_?" Athrun said to Shinn.

"I _didn't_! I saw her… and then she's like that."

"Here's your phone…" Luna gave the cell phone to Athrun.

He called the doctor, and told him about the attack. The doctor said that if she doesn't 'come-back' in ten minutes, they have to take her to the hospital.

"Why should we wait… we'll take her _now_!" Athrun replied.

The doctor said that the respiratory arrest was reversible- it only meant that something had gone wrong in her parasympathetic nervous system. But if it continues then she needs medical assistance.

The others were also worried. They were studying her panic-stricken face.

Miriallia was on the verge of crying.

"I couldn't take it- is she _always _like this?" she asked Athrun.

"Panic attacks- yes, but this one- is the first time."

"I'll call Kira…" Mir said as she sniffs.

Meyrin was there, but she doesn't want to come close.

She looked at her sister. Luna approached her. Shook her head.

"Let's leave them for a while," Luna whispered to her.

Dearka and Yzak also left.

It was Athrun and Shinn that were watching over her. Waiting for her to come back to consciousness.

(End of scene)

The sisters went to the kitchen.

Meyrin sat on the chair- back to where she's been. The odor of mint, basil and chyme was beginning to fill the place. Luna was washing the meat.

"Luna…" it was Meyrin who first spoke.

"I know what you're thinking."

"I… I feel bad for her. She isn't like this. A strong girl- I used to admire her for that."

Meyrin was chopping the pieces of basil on the chopping board.

"Me too…"

"Did _they_ do the right thing?"

"I honestly don't know," Luna answered.

(End of scene)

Dearka was with Yzak outside the house, tending to the burning coals for the barbecue.

"Man, I don't know…I just don't get it," Dearka said.

"What is it?" Yzak had spoken.

"She… She's like that ever since her coma… nothing changed."  
"She was conscious…" Yzak said as he fans the smoke away.

"That's the _only_ thing that happened. She's conscious. All else… I don't know…"

The coals were beginning to turn amber- a sign that its time to cook the meat.

Athrun was holding Cagalli's hand- waiting for her to 'wake up'. Shinn was sitting on the other sofa, staring blankly at the window.

Then, a deep gasp came out from her still mouth. Her eyes revived their color. She raised herself up and coughed continuously. Athrun was so relieved- Shin too.

Miriallia rushed forward to see her.

"Oh my, you got us all worried!" She touched Cagalli's forehead.

Cagalli was still catching her breath. Mir said she already called Kira.

"He was also in the state of panic after hearing what happened. He'll be here anytime."

" I thought he had to be with Lacus?" Athrun asked.

"He has to accompany her to a conference, but after hearing this, he said he'll pass."

Luna called out to Mir, saying she needs some help with the meat.

Mir went to the kitchen. The sisters were already placing the thin slices of meat on the barbecue sticks.

"How is she?" Meyrin asked.

"She's okay. Kira will be here tonight."

"You want to rest?" Athrun asked Cagalli. Her faced was filled with sweat.

She shook her head, and looked at the person sitting on the other sofa. Shinn on the other hand was thinking- of Stellar.

"Y…you…" she pointed towards him.

Athrun was a little bothered. He remembered what happened when she saw Shinn back at the mansion.

It was different this time.

Shinn, who was once lost within his thoughts turned to meet her gaze.

"I…saw…you."

Shinn didn't blink.

"What happened?" Athrun asked as he brushes away the hair hovering on her face.

" He…" then she touched her lips.

Shinn realized that she knew what he did back at the beach. He just wanted to revive her, that's why he did it- or was it his only intention? - He wasn't sure.

He was blushing. He immediately stood… went to the others in the kitchen.

"He…gave…me… a kiss." Cagalli continued.

Athrun froze- so did Shinn.


	8. Pies and salt

He couldn't believe his ears…

But they weren't lying.

Words were cryptic but they were true to their meaning.

Beads of sweat began flowing on Shinn's forehead.

He turned around and met Athrun's accusing gaze.

Athrun however, was too discreet about his feelings. He could smash his fist on Shinn's face and start a brawl if he wanted to… but he remained still.

Cagalli on the other hand was looking at Athrun's expression. Blinked twice, then pulled his sleeve to say something.

"You… mad… at me?"

"No," Athrun replied.

Shortly, Mir appeared and said to Athrun if she could take Cagalli with her in the kitchen.

"I'd like her to help me in making some strawberry pies… If it's okay with you."

Athrun asked Cagalli if she wanted to make some strawberry pies and she reluctantly agreed. She took Mir's hand and left.

So it was Shinn and Athrun- … still facing each other.

"I thought you didn't _do_ anything?" Athrun said sarcastically.

"Don't be such and idiot… I did _not_ kiss her," Shinn fired back. " I… gave her some …_air_… because she's barely breathing. If _that_ appeared to her as a kiss… then so be it."

Athrun went silent.

"Sorry…"

"I know it's been difficult for you," Shinn said meaningfully. He gazed at the sun as it hides behind the clouds.

"She doesn't remember anything about you… what you really mean to her. I _know_ how that feels like."

Athrun sat by the couch. Looking at the same sight as Shinn.

"I'm beginning to accept that. All that matters to me is to see her- alive. If I have to sacrifice everything that I have- I'll gladly do so…I just don't want her to…"

Shinn interrupts him by asking a shattering question- one that Athrun wasn't able to explain- or understand even for himself.

"Then why did _you_ let her go… when she was yours? Why did you break up with her?"

No answer.

If he hadn't left her, would anything change? Could she be the same Cagalli as everyone had known? He couldn't turn back time. He remembered their last conversation.

For us, this will just be a memory… 

Now, even that painful memory of their breakup was nothing but dust… unseen and forgotten.

(End of scene)

"Okay, so this is how you do it. First we have to make the crust for the pie, then we'll do the strawberry filling."

Mir instructed Cagalli on how to make the dough.

She immediately learned how to do it, and it wasn't long before they make the strawberry paste.

Mir brought a basket of strawberries.

Surprised when Cagalli took one and ate it.

"So you like strawberries," Mir said.

Cagalli nodded.

"It'll taste better with some cream or milk. But don't eat them all, we still have to make the pie."

Mir felt as if she was beginning to enjoy this. She felt like having an instant 'daughter'.

The dough was made and it's lunchtime.

Everyone gathered on the dining area to feast on the food that they themselves prepared- barbecue, spaghetti and some risotto.

The day has slowly turned to dusk. Luna said she wanted to have some afternoon swimming. She was joined with the others except Athrun, Cagalli and Mir.

Mir was of course- still doing the pie with Cagalli and Athrun's with them, as _always_.

But Yzak insisted that Athrun come with them.

"Don't worry about her. She'll be fine with Mir!"

"C'mon man, loosen up for a while," Dearka added.

"She wont run away…"

"Just go ahead Athrun. She will be okay with me. She's enjoying herself. You should too…"

Luna grabbed Athrun's hand (to his surprise) and said that _old _men like him should not be so stiff all the time.

Meyrin laughed and followed them.

Cagalli was left in the kitchen. She was thinking- staring at the piles of strawberries, the golden-brown crust placed on individual serving cups, the eggs and cream.

She smiled.

(End of scene)

The car pulls to a stop in front of the rest house.

He went inside and was surprised to notice that everyone's missing.

"Miriallia?" called out as he walks towards the kitchen. Not long after, Mir appeared on the kitchen's doorway.

"Kira…you're a bit early."

"Yeah, been worried, that's all. Where is _she_?"

Mir pointed at the kitchen, and made a giggle.

Kira went closer to see.

He saw her. Her face was covered with flour dust- like a Japanese doll, and her hair wasn't an exception. She wore an apron and her hair was joined together into a little knot at the back of her head. She was sniffing as she stirs the large bowl containing the paste.

"She's just like a child," Mir said. "Anyway, I've run out for some ingredients. I'll go and buy some."

"I'll look after her," Kira answered.

He entered the kitchen, smiling at the sight.

"I thought I saw a beautiful fairy…but her face was so white," he said.

Cagalli's eyes went bigger as Kira's figure began to realize.

"Kira!" she exclaimed. She dropped the spoon and immediately _got rid_ of the bowl as she rushed towards him. Gave him a fierce embrace. Kira was hugging her tightly, and tears starts to follow.

"I thought something bad has happened." He said under her ear.

She was crying.

"Y…you…left…me alone."

He wiped off the flour on her forehead.

"I've come back now." He was so happy that she doing fine.

Then he remembered something. He reached for his pocket to look for it.

A small box inside. A ring.

He pulled it out and held Cagalli's hand.

"I've gone away because I bought this." He placed the ring on her finger.

Cagalli felt some odd sensation… as if this had happened before but she couldn't remember.

Couldn't remember that it was Athrun who gave her the ring that she had long wanted.

"There," Kira said as the ring falls into place. The stone was colored blue… a sapphire.

She smiled and embraced him. But the odd feeling didn't go away.

Mir was on the doorway… a little shocked upon seeing the two of them.

Kira saw Mir's reaction. He began to pull away from his sister.

"I… I have made one for you…" Cagalli said to Kira. She searched for the table. The first pie that she created was there, and she brought it to him. He got a spoon and tasted it. A little bit sour, but then he smiled. He truly appreciated it regardless of the taste.

He joined them as they finished their baking.

Just as everyone returned to the house. It's already six-thirty- time for dinner.

"How are the pies?" Dreaka asked. He was surprised to see Kira.

"Man, you're early…"

Same dialogue as Mir's.

Athrun came from behind. He saw Kira and Cagalli, sitting on a bench, while she continues to fill the crust with the paste.

He went forward to greet her but something held him back. The sight of her finger- wearing a ring.

He turned to Kira. He was also staring at him. No words.

Just a painful look.


	9. Pendulum

Dinner was over.

"The pie- it's really good! I never thought Mir and Cagalli could make such a good one," Luna said.

"I did the crust and Cagalli made the filling," Mir explained.

"So, who's up to night swimming?" Dearka said to everyone.

"I think I wanted to dip myself in the water too," Kira said to them. He was sitting at Cagalli's right, with Mir on her left. Athrun was on the other side of the table. Quiet.

"How about you Athrun. Want to go back there?" Meyrin asked.

He just nodded.

"C…can I…swim…too?" Cagalli asked as she pulls Kira's sleeve. Since his return, she never left his side, and it seems she totally forgot about Athrun's existence.

"Sure," Kira answered.

"Then I think I'll go too," Miriallia decided.

"I'm tired… want to take a nap early," Yzak said.

"I think I'll pass…I'll stay here." It was Luna who's spoken.

"How about you Shinn?"

He was staring at the pie. Never eaten a strawberry pie before. He lifted the food and ate it. Began to chew.

"I'll go," he said after swallowing the lump.

"So, Luna and Yzak are staying. They're arguing the whole day. Would it be okay to leave the two of them?"

Meyrin was walking with Athrun towards the shore, while the others follow.

"Yzak won't do anything nasty to Luna, even if she's so ill tempered," Athrun answered. But his mind was somewhere else. Dearka and Mir caught up with them.

"She refused me…" Dearka said with an exaggerated expression of regret.

"Refused?" Meyrin asked.

"Don't listen to this pervert. He wants me to wear a bikini, and I told him I wasn't swimming because it's too cold," Mir explained.

"You still refused my request," Dearka said as he moves away from Mir.

"Go find someone who can fulfill your … whatever!" Mir said as she moves forward.

"Hey! I'm just joking!" Dearka went forward and grabbed Mir's waist.

"Don't do that!" Mir exclaimed.

She looked at Athrun and Meyrin.

"We didn't see anything- go ahead," Meyrin said.

Cagalli was walking slowly. She was burying her feet in the sand as she moves forward- dragging it. Kira on the other hand was busy talking with Lacus as he waits for his sister.

"How is she?" Lacus asked.

"She's doing okay. We're walking to the beach. She said she wants to swim."

"Did…you…give…_it_?"

"Yeah."

"How did she react?"

"Happy…"

"…" Lacus took a deep breath. She was in one of the Supreme Council's chambers. Working.

"Kira… how long do you plan to do this?"

" Do what?"

"Pretend…"

He stopped walking. Turned to see Cagalli as she walks toward him. Took a while for him to answer.

"I don't know."

" I understand."

The call ended.

Lacus lay back on her chair. Tears were beginning to cloud her vision.

_What am I thinking? Why am I feeling this? I'm not losing him…am I? _

Their situation was a little bit odd. She suggested that he'd go with the pretension, yet now, she's been worrying about something…which she could not understand. Had it existed long before this fiasco had befallen? She wasn't sure.

He is sure.

He loved his sister more than anyone else. She was his only true family. To sacrifice, and pretend, were two things he'd gladly do…

Luna was sitting on the couch- watching TV.

Yzak went to the shower.

She was watching some cheap drama show. Her eyes- already half closed.

She had fallen asleep.

He was finished taking his shower. Went to the TV… turned it off.

Shinn was far behind everyone else. If Cagalli was a turtle, he's been an ant.

He was thinking of the pie… how it tasted. Sweet and sour… and a little bit salty.

The cold see breeze was getting into his skin. Deeper perhaps. He's been feeling the cold ever since…_he can't even remember when it started. _

The water was a bit warm, far from Mir's expectations. But she stayed in the shallows. Dearka was smoking a cigar. He was with her, looking at the same view of the dark waters.

Meyrin on the other hand, went to a nearby cottage. Brought with her a good book. Sat down and read as she enjoys the cool breeze.

She was a little bit terrified with the sight. The ocean wasn't blue… almost black.

There were a few stars- no moon.

She held Kira's hand as they moved forward. Her feet was already drenched, then her thighs.

"Are you sure you wanted to swim?" He asked her. She nodded.

Athrun was walking alone.

Learning to deal with solitude- face to face. He wasn't able to talk with Kira about what he saw… about what _he_ did.

Shinn reached the place. Saw Meyrin in the cottage, Athrun walking away, the _twins_ swimming, and the _lovers_ watching them. He looked at the skies.

_No moon_- he thought.

Kira said she shouldn't swim too far, so she just floated within his arms' reach.

He was enjoying the waters too. Been so long since he'd gone to the ocean.

Seawater is different from hot springs. It has its own _mystery, _which hot springs

couldn't possibly posses- for it's too _trivial._

Meyrin was beginning to fall asleep. The lights were a little bit dim, so her eyes tired out easily. She went towards the beach. Along the way she saw Shinn. Lying on the sand, facing the sky.

She sat down and joined him.

"I couldn't continue reading, it's a bit dark in there. Have you seen Athrun?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Saw him earlier."

"I feel sorry for him."

"Should you be?" he asked. His eyes were closed.

"Shinn… I…"

"He made his choice. He has to suffer the consequences. You should make yours too."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Move on." He began to rise and sit beside her.

"I… have accepted it," Meyrin confessed. "All I can do now is to be with him as a friend."

The wind carries pieces of sand as it drifts. It's irritating to someone's eyes. It can cause tears.

The sand hit her.

Shinn stood.

"I'll go swimming." He reached out his hand towards her. "Want to join?"

She nodded.

Mir suddenly noticed Athrun's absence. "Where is he?"

Dearka shook his head.

He wasn't able to notice that he'd gone far from the others- walking towards nowhere. That was his direction- all along. His feet were starting to twitch. But still he moves forward. He looked back. He saw her figure, drifting in the water. She was too far.

_Everything makes sense when someone views things from afar_- he realized.

"Where have I been all along?" he asked himself.

He watched the color of the mundane sky. It was a shooting star that he saw, but its glow only hurt his eyes. He took a deep breath.

" I will not give up."


	10. Effect of Salty Water

Because I didn't have to work for **two **days and I couldn't possibly hang out because my friends are on-duty (not to mention that I'm dead broke)- I will have this chapter –fast update!

"Cagalli, I told you not to go that far!" Kira worriedly swam towards her as she began to move away from him.

She wasn't swimming _away_, but the tide is rising and the current is pulling her away from the shore.

Shinn and Meyrin were already there, and they went to Kira.

"Don't worry about her," Shinn said. "The three of us are here. She won't drown."

The water begins to cool- then it's painfully cold.

Cagalli was enjoying her dip into the almost-icy waters. Meyrin swam towards her.

"Enjoying yourself?" she asked.

Sensing something odd about the person speaking to her… or something that she might have felt back then which she couldn't remember, Cagalli started to swim away.

"Hey… I'm not trying to scare you!" Meyrin began to catch up with her, but as soon as she did, Kira held her back.

"She doesn't _like_ you." He was quite straightforward.

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Kira replied.

Her image was starting to go farther… and farther… until… it was gone.

Kira panicked.

"Cagalli!" He plunged himself into the cold waters, trying to find her.

Meyrin screamed for help. Shinn was already underwater, looking for Cagalli.

They couldn't find her.

Meyrin went to Mir and Dearka.

"She… she's gone!" She was sobbing.

"Bull shit!" Dearka instructed Mir to get a flashlight because the water's too dark. Meyrin hurriedly went back to the shore to look for Athrun.

Kira was looking on the right side- Shinn on the left.

"Damn it! How could she disappear so fast?" Shinn swallowed a lump of air and then went down again.

Kira's mind was numb. He couldn't believe this was happening.

"No… please…god no!" He was searching for her. He didn't bother going to the surface for some air. His lungs were beginning to feel heavy.

Not long after, it was Athrun who's running towards the sea. Meyrin was crying, as she ran after him.

Mir borrowed a flashlight from a nearby rest house, and she gave it to Dearka.

The small light from it wouldn't help. Dearka told Mir to take Meyrin to Luna, and told her she must stay on shore.

"We couldn't possibly rescue two people at a time." Then he's off.

His body was already numb as the water almost freezes.

"Shit!" He couldn't dive anymore, his nose were beginning to sting. Shinn suddenly recalled the day he saved Stellar from drowning. This day, it looks like he wouldn't be able to do that to Cagalli.

Then, a piece of clothing floated in front of him. Her shirt.

Shinn grabbed it.

"No."

Kira's lungs were collapsing. He's too far from the others, but still, he couldn't find her. He went to the surface to breath. Tears were beginning to fall from his tired eyes.

Athrun was underwater… searching.

He couldn't see anything, or feel anything. But he refused to go on the surface.

"If _you_ were to die… I'll follow…But not NOW!" His mind screamed.

The sea heard it. Was it _his_ will that made it happen?

A soft flesh… He held it. It was still. It was her hand. Athrun grabbed her and swam to the surface.

Dearka saw them. He focused the light towards Athrun as he swam towards the shore, covering Cagalli's half- naked body. Shinn saw them and called out to Kira.

They were on-shore. She was unconscious. Dearka was looking away as Athrun removes his shirt and put it on Cagalli.

He felt her pulse. Almost none.

He gave her some air… pumped her chest to induce breathing.

Another try… and then another.

A deep breath came out. Then, lots of water.

Kira was running towards her. Shinn's feet were faltering… he collapsed just as he stepped on the dry sand.

Cagalli saw the face of her rescuer… then… tears fell. It came from Athrun.

He kissed her temple and then her lips as he embraces her.

Kira saw it. He stepped back- farther.

She wasn't blinking. But she felt the warmth… once again. This was how it felt like back in the garden. She remembered him as the one who stayed with her when she was alone.

She couldn't understand anything. What he truly means to her.

Then she saw Kira.

Athrun helped her as she stood. She moved towards Kira.

Kira stepped forward, anticipated her fall in his arms.

She did fell. She wasn't crying, nor speaking.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" Kira was uttering such painful words as he embraces her.

Shinn was once again, lying on the ground- looking at the sky.

Maybe his eyes were tired. Or is she really there?

He saw Stellar, dancing in the heavens. He blinked once, then twice. Her image was still there.

-The effect of salty water.


	11. The Ancient Bruise

The Ancient Bruise

They were back in the rest house. No conversations.

Kira was carrying Cagalli in his arms. Athrun was following them together with Dearka, whose in-charge of Shinn.

Shinn's feet were numb. He couldn't move it, so he must be literally dragged towards the house.

Mir was sitting with Meyrin in the balcony. Meyrin was still crying.

"It… was…my…fault…" she sobbed. "If I …hadn't swim… towards her… she might not have gone away…"

"Stop that nonsense, you didn't do anything to her," Mir said.

Mir saw them coming. She ran towards them, very happy to see Cagalli who's almost asleep in Kira's arms.

"Oh my, how is she?"

Kira just nodded.

Then Mir looked at Shinn.

"It looks like you've had worse," she said as upon noticing his condition.

Lunamaria saw Shinn from the window. She wanted to go to the sea and check what happened but Yzak prevented her and said that she has to watch over Meyrin.

"Shinn!" Luna called out.

She ran outside to meet him.

Kira went towards the house, past Meyrin and Luna.

Yzak anticipated him in the hallway.

" You are such an idiot. Can't even watch over your sister," Yzak scorned.

Kira just looked straight ahead.

"We should take him to hospital," Luna said to Dearka.

"The _two_ of them, I say," Dearka concluded.

"I'm okay," Shinn whispered. "Just a little tired."

Athrun stayed outside… at the balcony with Meyrin.

Meyrin crouched on her seat. Hid her swollen eyes. She was crying for feeling guilty, but there's more to those tears.

Mir said she'd assist Cagalli in changing up. Athrun told her that he wanted to have a talk with Kira, and Mir relayed the message.

An hour has passed and almost everyone's asleep.

Athrun was waiting for Kira in the balcony. For the past hour, Kira was with Cagalli, watching her as she sleeps.

Kira appeared in the doorway. It seems like he knew what this _talk _is all about.

"She's already asleep," Kira said.

Athrun was looking at the distant horizon. Then he spoke.

"Is _that_ the gift… you were talking about?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

No response.

"It seems that she's totally different now," Athrun continued. "Tell me the truth Kira. Do _you_ want her to forget… about me?" There was pain his words.

It took a while for him to answer.

"Yes."

His response was short, but the words were heavy.

"The ring… is the proof."

"She was different now, from all of us. You know that Athrun. And she will never get better."

"But why… why are _you_ taking her from me?" Athrun replied.

"It was _you_ who left her. 'Till the last moments of her sanity, she was thinking about you, yet weren't there."

Kira clenched his fists. Trying to hide the anger that he long felt. The anger for everything that happened to his sister, and to Athrun.

"I don't want her to remember that it was _you_ who made her miserable on the _last_ _days of her life_."

Kira was speaking as though Cagalli was already dead.

Maybe she is already dead. A ghost, roaming around and creeping on everyone's sleeve.

Then he revealed something to Athrun.

"Days after she was hospitalized, I found out something on her desk. I didn't know that she was hiding something from us."

He took a deep breath. Even though the skies were dark, the tears on his eyes glistened.

"Her diagnosis- the doctor's assessment on her. It said that she had this atypical tumor on her cerebrum, and it's getting worse."

The midnight air was eerie, and was cold. Athrun felt the same. He was shocked.

"She had cancer, and she knew it. I read her diary."

Then Kira pulled out something from his pocket. A loose page of a certain journal.

"I was about to tell you about this… but I kept on hesitating. Until you said you want to talk to me, then I told myself, that this was the right time."

The piece of paper was already wrinkled.

"Read what it says. Then reassess everything."

After saying that, Kira left.

Athrun went to his room. Turned the lamp on and began reading.

_This was the worst day of my life. It was me who ended everything. He cried but I held myself together. I gave him back his ring… the most precious thing that I possess. I had no choice, I wasn't going to live that long. I want him to find someone…who can love him and never leave. He's been through so much pain, and I don't want him to cry when I'm gone. But then I still hoped that he wouldn't let me go. But he did. He even said that everything that we had… would just become a memory…_

_I still have lot to do, and I wanted to spend my last days, serving my people._

I didn't want Kira to notice my condition, but it's getting worse. I had to take five doses of pain killer, but the pain still persists. I've been locking myself away from everyone. I don't want them to see me **die**…

He cried. Cried until he couldn't cry anymore. His eyes were already in pain, but it wasn't enough. The paper was already drenched with tears. The daylight was starting to break the darkness, but in his room, he was still being swallowed with such.

She knew that she was about to die, yet she's still thinking of him. She doesn't want him to get hurt.

When they broke up, Athrun felt bitter about it. For days, he kept on thinking, how could she do that to him? She wanted him to move on. And he convinced himself, that he should. He will not care for her, the way used too. But when Lacus told him about her being rushed to the hospital, everything that he felt … the anger, and confusion vanished. He went back to Orb to see her.

Then, it was Kira's hostility that welcomed him. He didn't understand back then.

Now he did.

Why did she take everything by herself? Why did she think of dying _alone_?

The sound of the piano was echoing around the place. The song of bitter heartache that everyone has felt. Everyone was listening; in deep slumber they find the meaning.

It was Cagalli who's playing. The song was "The Ancient Bruise"

The ancient bruise 

_Of a warrior who has fallen_

_I see him torn in half…_

_The surface of the deep melody_

_My heart will never define_

_You will never be mine_

_To good by nature and sinned by mistake_

_You will never be mine…_

Meyrin was asleep, but her eyes glisten. Tears. Kira was staring at the ceiling- in deep thought. Mir woke up to drink some water. Yzak went to the living room- listened to the tune. Shinn's feet were still numb. But he wasn't asleep. Once again he was feeling the cold.

I saw the shimmering light 

_Hidden within the warrior's chest_

_Then I saw myself inside_

_Wearing that tinted dress_

_Too blinded by the smoke_

_That clouds my eyes_

_I will not cry_

_I 'll see you fade _

_My eyes will follow_

_But then left behind_

_You will never be mine_

_You will never be mine…_


	12. The Lady of the Woods

_Lady of the Woods _

_They say that the Lady of the Woods saunters in broad daylight and in the deepest nights… search for lost souls and takes them as a keepsake of her eternal loneliness… _

The morning sun is a little cooler than it should be. For the past four months, everything had been a routine for Kira. He would wake up- check on his sister, have breakfast with her, and then take her for a walk.

Today, they were on the beach.

Mir prepared a sumptuous breakfast and began to call on everyone.

"This is such a good day, c'mon let's eat." She smiled sweetly at Dearka, who was still covered with his sheets.

Then she went to Meyrin and Luna's room. They weren't there.

"Where could they've gone to?"

Mir opened the window and saw the sisters, walking towards the beach.

_Early morning walks._

Then she knocked at Yzak and Shinn's room.

Yzak opened the door.

"Breakfast time…"

"Be right there." Yzak gave a yawn.

"How's Shinn?"

"Still sleeping."

"Poor guy."

She was about to go straight to Cagalli's room but the door opened as soon as she was about to go there.

Kira came out with Cagalli.

"Good morning."

"Morning," Kira smiled at Mir.

Cagalli smiled too.

Cagalli went forward, towards the door and Kira was behind her. Mir whispered something to Kira.

"How is she?"

"Didn't remember that she almost drowned last night…" Kira was staring blankly at his sister's back.

"I see. How about you and Athrun?"

Kira took a deep breath. Didn't reply.

"I'll check on him," Mir said.

She knocked at Athrun's door.

No response.

_Maybe he's still asleep_- she thought.

Breakfast was finished and Athrun wasn't there.

Kira was sipping his coffee. Luna said she wanted to go to the nearby town. Meyrin decided to go with her.

"I'll be with them," Yzak decided.

"Come with us Mir. You've been staying here for long," Luna said.

Mir answered. "Okay. Dearka, are you coming?"

"Wherever you go…" That was his reply.

"How about you Shinn?"

"I'll take a walk..." Shinn said.

"What? I thought your feet were injured." Luna sounded worried.

"I think it would be better for you to come with us," Meyrin added.

"No, I think I'll walk…"

"Then _we _could go with you," Kira suddenly spoke.

Shinn looked at Kira.

"Okay…"

"You want to take a walk?" Kira was talking to Cagalli.

Cagalli nodded.

She was staring at the seat in front of her. Unoccupied.

Then- to Kira.

Everyone was starting to leave the table. But Cagalli was still pinned on her seat.

"Kira…" she called out.

Kira was holding the pieces of dishes.

"Where…is…Athrun?"

It was as if a ghost had passed by. Everyone went silent.

She remembered Athrun… 

"He's still sleeping." Mir answered for Kira.

Then Cagalli looked at her lap.

"Is there something wrong?" Kira approached her.

"He…"

Her words ran out.

(end of scene)

Everyone headed to his and her destinations.

Near the outskirts of the island was a forest. Shinn wanted to go there since the beginning of this trip. He was simply drawn by the land, thickly covered with trees. It's the dry season, and the color of the trees seems to go with the weather. From afar, it would look like a distorted painting… ones like those works of famous impressionists who look at the world with an innocent eye.

_They_ will be going there.

It isn't a leisure walk at all. The forest was located, almost half-a mile from the coast and there's no way of getting there except with your two feet.

Cagalli didn't mind the long walk. Kira was worried for her.

Shinn was leading the way. He brought a camera, and some water, in case Cagalli gets thirsty.

There were a few inhabitants living on that area. Some people stare at them as they walked.

_Two coordinators_ _the former head of state._

The sight was indeed amusing, if not disturbing

The sight came nearer and nearer… then they were already there.

Shinn was the first one to capture the moment. Took a picture of the view.

They were near the entrance of the forest and the place was dead quiet. The sound of wild birds and the soft hum of the wind occupy the spacious place.

Cagalli looked around her. Stepped forward and closed her eyes. Breathe the air.

Shinn unconsciously took her picture while doing such gesture.

A faint smile etched on his lips.

"Are we going further?" Kira asked.

"If you want, but if she doesn't you can take her home," Shinn replied.

They continued their walk until they were already inside the woods.

The forest floor was covered with withered leaves of oak, some rare species of pine and birch. The place was cooler, and the silence- was quite deafening.

Shinn suddenly stopped walking. He went under a large old tree. Sat on the dry floor. Cagalli went to the same place, and Kira followed.

The tree was obviously old. Decades- or even centuries have passed since its birth.

Its wide braches stretched to cover the small pillar of sunlight- blocking the view of the sky. The roots have gone bigger, and surpassed the ground- on their way up high, almost joining the leaves.

"You want to hear a story?" Shinn suddenly spoke.

Cagalli gave him an interesting look, like those of a child anxious of something trivial.

Kira was enjoying his place. He was leaning on a large root that had been stuck out from the ground – due to erosion perhaps.

His eyes were closed. He was breathing silently.

_Just let **him** do the baby-sitting._

" My story is about, the Lady of the Woods."

"Lady… of… the…" Cagalli repeated.

Kira opened his eyes; the smell of dries leaves combined with the salty air from the sea gives him an odd sensation.

"The Lady of the Woods. She is the spirit of a maiden that lived in a strange forest…"

Shinn looked at Cagalli. She was listening intently.

He continued his tale

"She was as cold as the winter, and her eyes were as empty as the black sky."

"They say that she lived… exactly in **this** forest. When I first came here about a year ago, an old lady warned me to stay on guard. _Never let yourself be fooled by the bright light._ Because she's always here- watching."

Cagalli blinked. But her eyes did not show fear. Kira looked at his sister. He was listening to Shinn's story too.

"The old lady said that the Lady takes people with lost souls. They see her, like a shimmering light. Her sight was beguiling, then they fade like the shadows."

"Are you planning to scare us?" Kira was beginning to question Shinn's intentions of telling this tale.

"Well, I'm not forcing you to believe. But that night when I camped here, under this same tree-I thought I saw her shadow."

Cagalli wrapped her arms around her herself, as if she was feeling cold.

"Shinn just stop it. She's scared already," Kira scorned.

"No…" Cagalli suddenly mumbled.

She was feeling uneasy out of something she didn't know, or didn't understand.

The wind started to blow harder, and the trees were swaying to the breeze. The birds cried loudly.

Kira stood.

"I think we should leave."

Shinn was a little bit surprised, seeing **him** in such state of anxiety over the unknown.

"I still wanted to walk towards the end of this forest. There is a great view of the ocean over there."

"Let's get going," Kira replied.

The men both stood, but Cagalli was left sitting. Her eyes were locked to the ground.

"Something wrong?" Kira said.

"The…Lady…will take…"

He words were again empty. But her eyes showed the truth… or a premonition.

"Don't believe with that nonsense, please."

Shinn started to move forward.

But just as he was about to get pass the nearby tree…

_He saw the shadow once more._

This time, it was clearer.

The Lady of the Woods looked at him in the eye…

And her eyes are as empty as the black sky… His eyes were pinned on the sight. Never breathed. But the image faded too soon. Kira helped Cagalli as she stood. "I… **want** to… go… home." Cagalli's voice was shivering. 

Kira called out to Shinn. But he didn't here him.

He moved forward and shook his shoulder.

Then Shinn returned to himself once more.

"Let's go," he said.

It was already ten-thirty when they arrived back at the house.

Mir was sitting on the stairs and Dearka was pacing around.

Luna and Meyrin were there too.

Something **was**wrong.

Kira approached them, and Mir anticipated him.

"Athrun. He left."

"What?"

"I entered his room. I'm starting to feel worried. He hasn't left his room since last night. I knocked at his door and no one answered. So Dearka took the keys and opened it."

"He didn't say goodbye to us. A little strange because he isn't like that."

"Did you call him?" Kira asked.

"His phone was turned off." It was Luna who answered.

Yzak was there, staring at blankly. Even _he_ was bothered with Athrun's disappearance.

"Maybe he wanted to spend some time alone…" Kira speculated.

"No. Not when Cagalli's here," Shin replied.

Shinn remembered what happened in the forest.

(Flashback).

Athrun woke up late. His eyes were sore, because of the tears. He went to the kitchen. Noticed that no one's around.

He went to the living room, beside the piano.

Remembered the song that** she** played.

He closed his eyes.

"I'll find the way to bring you back…" 

The words. Kira said it before. Now, it was Athrun's turn.

Then, there's a phone call.

He stood by the window, and watched the distant seas.

He gaped at the scene. He saw _a shimmering light._

_**The vision of the Lady was walking away. It carries a piece of lost soul… for eternity will pass, and the silence will never be broken.**_

**(I consider this chapter, as the turning point of the story. Quite figurative, but I know that you already had an idea where this one's going to… there will be a few follow-ups and the end will be near. Hope you'll avoid the sight of the _LADY…)_ **


	13. Doubting truth

This is just a short follow-up. Enjoy reading if you can...

_**Doubting Truth… Blinding Lies **_

It's been a week since Athrun has disappeared, and no one really knew where he went. Kira was with his sister – back to the Attha's mansion.

That night, he was speaking with Lacus by the phone.

"Athrun hasn't come back yet and no one's here to watch over Cagalli… so I can't go there."

"Why hasn't he returned? Did you have a fight?"

Kira sighed.

"So you did…"

"Not exactly."

"Then what happened?"

No response.

" Kira… don't you think this whole situation is getting out of hand?"

"What do you mean?" Kira's brows tied into a knot.

Lacus bit her lip. It took a while for her to reply. She had long wanted to say those words and the right time has come.

"Our relationship… is suffering… just because…"

She didn't have to complete her sentence. He immediately cut her off.

"So you think I should leave my sister alone here? I can't believe I'm hearing those words from you."

"No, that's not what I mean!" Lacus was already in tears.

"Then what do you _mean_?"

"Nothing…" she was sniffing. "It's just that… you've changed. All for Cagalli… You call me just to talk about her, when we're together- you're always say '_Cagalli this- Cagalli that'_- I don't know what's going on… and I-can't-understand-why…"

Kira was silent.

"Are you… falling for her?" Her words were breaking herself into pieces.

"Tell me the truth Kira," she demanded.

"NO. Stop that nonsense Lacus."

"Then why…"

" If no one understands how I feel about her that's fine. But I will not leave her just because other people thinks that I'm twisted or whatever. I never expected to hear these from you… of all people."

"Please Kira, I just don't under-

"We'll talk when you're thinking clearly. Not now."

He ended the call.

Kira rubbed his forehead.

Is he falling for his sister?

No.

He left his seat and went to her room.

It was raining hard. Thunderstorm.

He twisted the doorknob and went inside. She was hiding herself on the stack of pillows. Afraid.

He sat beside her. She was crying.

" What's wrong?"

He held her hand.

She's been very gloomy these past days. Always asking about Athrun.

_"Where…is…Athrun?" _

_"Athrun's not here?"_

"I…I'm scared…" She was shivering.

"Don't worry, I'm here…" Kira reached out for her. He embraced her.

She rubbed her face on his shirt. He runs his fingers on her blonde hair. He was thinking about what Lacus had said.

"Hey, I want to tell you something…"

Cagalli looked up at him. Her eyes were sullen. His eyes were the same as hers.

"I- have to tell you the truth… something about us."

She remained quiet...Listening.

"You see, I'm … I'm not who you think I am…"

He touched her face. She felt something odd about him.

Pain. A great deal.

"I'm your **brother**."

She blinked. Her reaction was unreadable.

Ha gave out a painful laugh.

She leaned herself on his shirt, not saying anything. Just shivering.

The window was partly opened and the cold wind rushes inside, tearing Kira's heart.

_Had I inflicted something painful to her, or to myself?_

His tears fell.

The tension was relieved. He told her the truth.

He kissed her forehead and left.

That night, he cried himself to sleep. Everything unfolded behind his disguise. He couldn't hide it from her… that's why he must end it.

**He did fell in love**…

_The surface of the deep melody_

_My heart will never define_

_You will never be mine_

_Too good by nature and sinned by mistake_

_You will never be mine_

In a distant island, a man was talking to a group of scientists.

He was holding a piece of paper on his left hand.

They were discussing something.

"We aren't sure if _this _will work," says one.

"If we fail, everything is irreversible, so _you_ should carefully think about this."

The man was silent for a while. Then he spoke.

"Try to run more tests, and tell me if the chances are increasing. I will come back by then…'

The conversations ended.

He was driving alone in the sunset. His eyes were affixed on the road ahead. He moved the clutch and his accelerator. He was determined to pursue his plan… even if everything was a gamble of life and death.

Then he opened his phone – smiled at her picture inside.

She was wearing a blue dress. He took that picture before the war broke once more. C.E. 73…

He closed his eyes, and drove faster.

_Too blinded by the smoke_

_That clouds my eyes_

_I will not cry_

_I 'll see you fade _

_My eyes will follow_

_But then left behind_

_You will never be mine…_

The only thing that he could give was the only thing that he had. And he will be willing to do so…

His vision became misty. Tears hurt his eyes. He stopped.

Found himself crying over a picture of someone that once belonged to him.

"You… will… get better…soon…" Athrun said with a painful laugh.


	14. Fragments

Another short follow-up. Enjoy reading if you can...

_**Fragments**_

The days became weeks, then months. His absence began to send worries to everyone. And an unexpected feeling of anxiety over the person who never seem to remember who he was…

For three weeks, Kira had been the frequent guest of the Neuro-ICU, accompanying his sister.

Cagalli's attacks became more frequent. One night she became so agitated that she almost slit her wrist with a bread knife.

Kira never left her side. Lacus had a vacation leave to be with Kira on these times. Confusion was in everyone's minds, but the issues must first be set aside.

Cagalli's last attack leads to her confinement once again, at the ICU.

That night, Kira and Lacus were having dinner together with Shinn when the maid rushed inside the dining room, holding a piece of bloodstained towel.

"Master… Miss Cagalli…"

She didn't have to finish her sentence. Kira stormed inside Cagalli's room.

She lay there beside the broken piece of china where her food was supposed to be settling.

She was crying.

Kira held her in his arms. He saw her hands- bleeding. Lacus went inside the room. She got some medications and handed it over to Kira.

"What happened?" Lacus asked.

Shinn stayed on the doorway.

Cagalli suddenly struggled against Kira's arms. She broke free. She went towards her window- partly opened.

"Cagalli no!" Kira shouted.

"You… all of you… _lying_ to me!" Her words were like a strange cry- from somewhere… a call of guilt.

"Please, I am not _lying _to you…" Kira was voice was weak. He doesn't want to cause any more anxiety to her. She might think of jumping off.

"Then… where…is Athrun?"

Kira went silent.

"He… said…he wouldn't leave! He _promised _me!" She wiped her tears with her bloodstained hands.

"He left you." It was Shinn who has spoken.

Cagalli's eyes diverted on him.

"He left you…"

Cagalli sank on the wall. Her heart was feeling heavy. She heard voices… of people she never knew. Her mind was turning. She collapsed.

Kira was supposed to go to her but Shinn stopped him.

"Let her deal with this," Shinn said.

" Are you crazy? She's…"

"Sick is that it?" Shinn cut him off.

Cagalli was still on the ground- quivering.

"You have to understand, she must decide for herself- and think for herself. She may be an extended, but she's still Cagalli. She can't be like this forever. And _you _too…"

Shinn's words were like a bucket of ice water. Realization… is truly painful.

"I think we'd better call her doctor," Lacus concluded.

She went to Kira's room to get his cell phone. Dialed the number.

An hour later, they were in the receiving area of the hospital. Cagalli was taken to the ICU.

She was unconscious for about two hours, and then she woke up.

Kira was beside her, waiting.

She looked at him, then to the other two people in the room- Shinn and Lacus.

She didn't speak.

"How are you?" Kira asked, as he runs his hands on her hair.

It took a while for her to answer. And her answer was a question.

A shattering one.

"_**Who…you?"**_

He couldn't believe his ears. Perhaps she was playing tricks on him. But she's not.

He looked at her- from her questioning eyes, to her hands…

Her hands. The ring was not there.

He wasn't able to notice… how did disappeared…

Memories came flashing one by one in a split second.

He remembered. She lost it that night when she almost drowned.

And now, it was his memory that was forgotten.

_Is this… what Athrun felt back then?_

Fate wanted him to experience what his friend felt back then.

_Karma?_ - Or another stroke of ordeal?

He wasn't prepared for this.

He cried.

The nurse put Cagalli into sleep once more. The doctor talked with them in his office.

"Her brainwaves are extremely abnormal… and the focus of the disturbance in the neuronal firing is undetermined."

"What does that mean?" Kira asked.

"As you know, her attacks were becoming too frequent- the anxiety and respiratory a blackout. We have been giving large doses of _conditioning_ but it's still useless."

Lacus blinked twice. Shinn stared at the window- as if he already knew where this conversation is leading.

"What do you mean?" Kira insisted the question, but was somehow paralyzed- unable to accept what he was about to hear.

"She's **_dying_…"**


	15. My Sweetest Downfall

_**My Sweetest Downfall**_

_You are my sweetest downfall… I loved you first._

He was looking at the mirror. Blinked at the image staring back at him.

He was ready…

The doctor told them that it wouldn't take long before Cagalli gave in to her sickness.

" About a month…"

Cagalli wasn't as bad as she looks before. But it's still the same… she will die- sooner.

A lot of changes had taken place. She wasn't speaking to anyone… just staring blankly at a distance- on the other side perhaps. Her skin was pale- it's like she had no blood. Her lips lost its color. Her eyes were lifeless… long before her own body.

Kira watch her fade like a silk being blown away. He let it loose.

He decided that she spend her last days at a house near the ocean.

One day, he was taking her for a stroll along the shores. She was riding a wheelchair.

The wind was silent… the waves were low. Kira was holding the arm of her wheelchair- firm. He was staring at the same scene as her…

The fading horizon.

The evening birds were flying… singing the blues of an unhappy ending… of the fading sun…

Autumn's ending…

He closed his eyes. Last summer, she was still alive- as lovely as the sun.

Soon, she will be gone- like the season.

He wasn't able to notice a shadow approaching.

He opened his eyes and saw the person right beside him.

Athrun.

"You've returned," he said with a weak voice. He bowed his head.

Athrun bit his lip...unable to start his words.

" It's been a while," Kira once more spoke.

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Don't… worry. She… will recover…" Athrun suddenly said.

Kira looked at him- confused.

"I'm not lying."

"How…"

"Just… give me a chance."

Kira felt something different about his best friend.

"I don't know what you're up to…"

"Just… trust me."

His words echoed and the wind heared it.

"I'm sorry…" Athrun whispered.

"No, it was I who must…"

"Just take care of her, please…" Athrun said. His voice was sad and painful.

"She's my sister. I will…"

"Thank you."

The sun sank through the waters. The glow was gone.

Kira left the two of them.

Athrun ran his hands through Cagalli's shoulders- to her palms. And held it. She was cold. Her hand wrinkled.

His eyes met hers. He was still holding her hand…

The waves disappeared. He knelt in front of her and kissed her forehead.

_Their last kiss…_

The moon stared at the two people that were once one… warm like the sun.

The ancient bruise was there. He felt it.

Kira went to the house. Saw Lacus sitting all by herself- staring at the cup of coffee.

He sat beside her. Reached for another cup.

"You can take mine… though it's already cold."

She looked at him. Her eyes with salty water in them. He wasn't able to ask for the reason. She cried. He held her. He sobs were getting louder as she held him for balance. Kira soothed her with his words…

"I'm sorry. I'm here…"

"N…No. You don't understand…"

Kira dried her tears with his hand.

He gave her a questioning look.

"I… I can't… tell…"

She wrapped her hands around her.

She knows something, but she doesn't want him to find out.

She silenced herself. Tried not to cry anymore.

(Flashback)

She saw Athrun from the balcony as he approaches the house. She went outside to anticipate him.

"What happened to you?"

"Are _they _here?"

"Kira took her to the shore…"

" Can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

They had coffee. She noticed something different about Athrun. He's thinner… and something more.

"Please talk to Cagalli's doctor. I have a special team of scientists and surgeons. I'd like him to hand over Cagalli's case to them."

"What?"

"Convince Kira, please."

"What are you going to do? The doctor said…"

"I have another option. The last one."

"Care to discuss about it? If that's possible, it's a good news!"

Athrun just smiled.

"What is it?"

"Cerebral transplant- a live donor," Athrun simply said.

**_I'm not feeling well. I've updated earlier than expected. So this chapter is a revelation…Got the first verse from my favorite song nowadays._**


	16. Where Are You Athrun?

**_Where Are You Athrun?_**

The road towards the coast was long, bumpy and somber. Shinn was trying to get there, riding a century-old car that his friend gave him.

Vintage but still hanging.

His hair was obviously windswept and his eyes were growing tired due to lack of sleep.

Thinking.

He met with Athrun about three weeks ago. Told him about the plan.

"You are a complete fool Athrun."

Those were his last words. It was his reaction for Athrun's decision of sacrifice, and for another favor that was asked of him.

"I know, that you love her. I've noticed how deeply concerned you are when she almost drowned, and even before that."

Shinn looked away from his friend as he said these words.

"It's because… I remember Stellar. She was like _her_ in a lot of ways."

"Then this is your chance. Be with her when I'm gone."

Shinn raised his eyebrows.

"You're a complete fool."

"Yes I am," Athrun replied.

The house was already visible and it's already past six. He parked the car at the nearby coconut tree and went there by foot. He was holding a bouquet of roses-

Red. 

It's been a week after the transplant, and Cagalli was still unable to see.

Temporary blindness.

He knocked at the wooden door. It took a while for it to open.

"Oh, hi…" It was Lacus on the other side.

"May I come in?"

"Sure…"

The house was a bit out of style. It looked like ages since this place was inhabited. The curtains and draping were peach and chrome yellow- safe shades.

Lacus lead him to the receiving area- a lot smaller than the Athha's mansion.

There were three wooden chairs, arranged right in front of each other, and a couch near the TV. The partly opened window permitted the salty air from the sea to rush through. The air was indeed salty, as seen by the salt deposits that cling on the wooden framework of the house.

"You can sit wherever you want, I'll get some tea…"

"No, I'm fine. Don't bother."

"Then I'll get Cagalli. Wait here okay."

Lacus went to the small room adjacent to the place where she left Shinn.

Shinn held the roses. Closed his eyes and waited.

"I didn't expect a guest for today." A voice near the dining area came approaching. It was Kira.

" Just came from PLANT. I've decided to drop by…"

"Good," Kira replied.

He sat in front of Shinn.

"Dinner's already prepared. We'll appreciate if you join us," Kira said.

"Thank you. How's Cagalli."

"She's doing fine, aside from the temporary blindness…"

"What I mean is…" Shinn suddenly reminded Kira about the secret- that shouldn't be revealed 'till the right time.

But when is the right time? 

Kira shook his head. His eyes turned misty once more.

Shinn felt sadness all over the place.

Why hasn't anything changed? 

"I haven't told her."

"When will you? Did she look for him? Mentioned him perhaps?"

"A quite few times."

"How did you respond?"

Kira took a deep breath. Didn't answer.

"That's how you do it," Shinn said.

Lacus came with Cagalli on a wheelchair. Her eyes were sill blindfolded.

"Shinn's here…" Lacus told Cagalli.

"Thanks Lacus," Cagalli answered.

Kira stood from where he's settling. He gestured something at Lacus, then they both excused themselves.

"How are you?" Shinn asked.

"Getting by… but I'm tired of this darkness. I wish I could see soon."

"Kira said that it'd only take a week before you regain your eyesight."

"Yeah. But I feel restless. It's like I wanted to go out and see the world- you people."

"You've missed _living,_" Shinn concluded.

Cagalli smiled.

"Shinn, have you ever seen… Athrun… by chance?"

Shinn blinked twice.

"Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. It's just that… I haven't heard anything about him. Kira never mention him when we talk…"

**"He… is happy right now… I know,"** Shinn said meaningfully.

On the window, a butterfly settled. It had been a victim of the harsh wind- broken its wings. It didn't take long before it died.

The last breath of an insignificant creation. The universe felt it.

For some unknown reason, Cagalli felt odd. Sadness. Longing.

Where are you Athrun? 

**_A few chapters left, and this fic will come to an end. I feel bad because of the things that had been going on in my head, but I'm somehow enjoying it. This is a fast update because I've nothing else to do, and my finger's itch- wanted to do this follow up. This is enough. Thanks for reading, and for the reviews…_**


	17. Purple Sun

**Purple Sun**

_**He came to me from the distant light**_

_**Told me that I'm alright**_

_**He was a wonderful man **_

_**He let himself fall down**_

_**And kissed me till I cry…**_

One by one the bandages were removed. Her lovely eyes were still closed.

"You can open your eyes now," the doctor said.

A little spark of light peers over the infinite darkness that surrounds her world. Her eyes blinked and shed some tears, as if they wee hurt by it.

She opened her eyes. The first scene was blurry- a man wearing a smile on his thin lips. His hair was being blown by the wind, and his eyes were sad- but then it was smiling.

"_Athrun_…" Cagalli's mind blurted.

But he wasn't there. She thought she saw him.

The vision became clear.

The doctor was standing on her right, Kira was right in front of her. Shinn and Lacus were also there.

She was speechless.

_**I looked upon his side**_

_**He was bleeding with my own blood**_

_**I held the knife and he held my hand**_

_**That wound was mine- **_

Everyone smiled at her.

" Can you see us now?" Kira asked.

Lacus went forward and waved her hand in front of Cagalli's eyes.

"I can see you now," Cagalli finally said.

Shinn was still sitting on the other side of the room. Said nothing.

"Wow, I've never felt better."

Cagalli's eyes roamed all over the place.

A bed covered with white fabric, a vase with red roses on it. The partly opened window, the blue colored curtain… and a table containing some pieces of cups- and newspaper.

Something's missing.

_I** must go on standing**_

_**Face the purple sun **_

_**My soul inherited his pain**_

_**I gave him my wound**_

Two days have passed. She was having breakfast with her friends and brother.

"I say, we go out of town," Miriallia said.

"That's good, but you'll finance everything," Kira joked.

"How about PLANTS. We haven't gone there for a while," Lacus suggested.

"That would be fine, since you're a Supreme Council Representative now," Mir commented.

"Really?" Cagalli was surprised.

"You mean you didn't know?" Mir asked.

"I… you see… I couldn't remember everything that happened…"

Everyone went silent.

Mir dropped her spoon.

Kira almost choked.

Shinn looked away.

"You didn't remember what? I mean, to what extent?" Lacus asked.

"What we mean is, what's the _last_ thing that you remember till you regain consciousness from the transplant?"

It took a while for Cagalli to answer. She searched her mind.

Her last memory 

"I… was in the Archangel."

"And?"

Everyone waited for her answer.

"I broke up with Athrun."

"You mean, everything that happened after- when you became an extended- you remember nothing?"

Cagalli nodded.

It's as if everyone had something on their throats.

Tension.

"Anyway, about the person who donated the- you know… my brain, I'd like to _visit_ him. I wanted to thank him somehow, although that's pathetic since he's already dead."

Another stroke uneasiness from her words came to everyone.

Mir looked at Kira and Lacus. A worried look. Kira's eyes were distant.

Hesitant on whether he should break the news in what seemed to be a pleasant affair.

"I'll take you to his grave," Shinn said.

Mir gave Shinn a vicious look. Kira's eyebrows rose.

Lacus just glared at him.

" You have to know who he is, and I think he deserves some appreciation," Shinn added. His words were short and blunt.

After breakfast, Cagalli excused herself and headed to her room.

When she's gone, arguments rose from the remnants of the table.

"What the hell-" Kira was furious.

"Calm down Kira, she might hear you."

"Why did you say it?" Lacus asked Shinn.

"This isn't the right time Shinn," Mir added.

"When is the right time? After you've gone to PLANTS or wherever you plan to go- celebrating her recovery- that's when you'll break the news that her donor was her ex-boyfriend?"

Both Lacus and Mir were silenced by Shinn's words.

"We aren't happy about it," Kira said.

"Yes I know, but you must understand that the more you keep the truth, the bigger will be the impact once she finds out. She'll hate you for it."

"I know," Kira answered.

"That's why she must know. It's hard for Kira to do it, so I'll be the one."

With that, Shinn stood and left.

Three hours later, they were on their way towards the place where Cagalli's donor was laid.

Shinn was with Cagalli. She had fallen asleep while he was driving.

They left the car and Shinn lead the way. Cagalli trailed after him.

"Shinn, what's the matter? You're very quiet."

"Nothing."

"Oh, I'm sorry for disturbing you. I should have asked Kira instead."

"No. Just follow me."

To Cagalli's surprise, Shinn took her hand. They were walking quietly.

The place wasn't a cemetery, but a garden.

A sunflower garden.

The silence was deafening, and the plants sway as the dry wind rushes through them.

There was an isolated at the end of the road and they're heading for it.

On it was a tombstone, made of granite. It was shining- facing the sun and reflecting its rays.

"He's right there," Shinn said softly, never looking at Cagalli's eyes.

Cagalli stopped walking. She waited if Shinn would take her there, but then he didn't move.

"Go on," he said.

Cagalli thought he saw tears on Shinn's eyes.

She felt worried. With her small footsteps, she walked towards the place. Her heart was beating so loud for some reason, which she could not understand.

Her hands were trembling.

A few steps more… 

She stood in front of the grave. Fell on her knees.

**Athrun Zala**… 

"NO!"

An eerie cry was heard all over the place. The sun hid from the clouds. Everything lost their color as the lights faded.

Shinn rubbed his eyes and went towards her.

The sound of her wailing was painful.

She clutched her head. Everything was spinning…

Her sobs were loud, and she was clinging to the ground- with her hands and dress already soiled.

She was catching her breath…

Shinn held her but she struggled against him.

"No…No…No!" Those were her painful words of denial.

"Shinn, tell me this is a dream. You're lying to me… God NO!"

She was shaking her head, as if everything that happened was just in her head. She wanted to shake it off.

"This is what happened Cagalli," Shinn said.

She continued to cry, until everything was painful… her eyes were already swollen, and spasms were yanking her off.

She lay there, not speaking. Shinn held her as her cries faded into silence.

_**I must go on standing **_

_**To see the purple sun**_

_**Remember the ancient bruise**_

_**For tomorrow you'll be gone**…_

**(I'm supposed to post this one next week but I've changed my mind. I'm quite messed up because I didn't remember that it's my day-off and I went to work- stupid me…)**


	18. For What Reason

**To the readers: This is a flashback of how it happened. Enjoy reading if you can…**

**For What Reason**

"Sir, the procedure will claim you life. Do you still want to pursue this?"

The doctor sounded worried. He was Athrun's friend for some time now. When the incident on Cagalli's illness reached him, he was the one who searched for some alternative other than the extended conditioning. But his efforts were nearly wasted when Cagalli underwent the extended conditioning.

But Athrun was persistent. He was told about this breakthrough, a month after Cagalli was hospitalized, but he couldn't possibly capitalize an undeveloped research. So he waited until this was completed- and volunteered to become the first specimen.

"You've already told me that. And my answer is still the same. I will not back out."

"So be it," the doctor replied.

He was counting down the days of his life. The scientists said that he must undergo some physical, mental, and emotional examinations before the procedure. Everyday he goes to the hospital, being studied and analyzed by people he didn't know, or doesn't seem to care that he will be dying in less than a week.

"So the procedure goes like this. Ms Attha's cancer hasn't metastasized yet, so the threat of other organ complications isn't considered. We only need to replace the infected area of the brain which is the dorsal area of the cerebrum," the surgeon explained.

" We will have to obtain the part on our donor's brain, and of course, we will not replace his brain with a dysfunctional one. In other words, he will die after the operation has been done successfully."

All the other surgeons looked at Athrun. Athrun stared right through them.

His eyes were stoned- and he didn't feel anything. Fear, not even pain.

The only people who knew his secret were the doctors, Shinn, and Lacus Clyne.

Lacus find it hard to accept Athrun's fate. After learning about his plan and after being asked to participate in it, she's always struggling to face Kira.

Always crying whenever the subject about Cagalli's brain transplant is brought up.

" I wonder, why wouldn't _they_ let _us_ know the identity of the donor," Kira once asked.

"The doctor said that the donor wanted to keep his identity, and that everything be hidden to avoid _complications_ after the procedure," Lacus lied.

She was nearly crying after saying those words. She looked away from Kira.

"How about Athrun? I haven't seen him since last week. He was the one who suggested _this_ but he isn't here. The operation will pursue tomorrow and he hasn't even visited Cagalli."

"He's currently having some talk with the ZAFT forces. They wanted him to return," Lacus once again lied.

Questions. All answered with fabricated stories, just to cover up for someone's sacrifice.

"_Listen Lacus, I don't want Kira to know all about this. Not until the procedure's done. And I need your help."_

"_Why don't you want him to know about this?"_

"_Because he may disagree with this whole thing."_

"_I see…"_

The day has arrived. Athrun was confined in the pre-conditioning area, and the other doctors were running some tests on Cagalli.

He was sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the white walls of his room. Remembering that day when he and Cagalli first met. The sky's pouring itself in the world. Much like this day.

It was raining hard.

He turned on the TV.

A storm is about to hit the country… 

Storm. Somehow, when it's gone, _he's _gone too.

He remembered what the doctor asked him when he volunteered as the live donor.

"**For what reason Athrun?"**

He answered by giving his friend a faint smile.

Now the question began to float in his mind.

**Three hours to go**… 

"_Reason_," he said to himself.

"_She wanted to die alone because of me. Now I will die because of her."_

For things that are done wholeheartedly, reasons were never important- because it's the heart that never thinks and never lies.

Thirty minutes… 

The nurse came to his room and asked him if he's ready. He nodded. He was taken to the operating room.

The team of surgeons was there. There were two beds. One occupied by Cagalli, and the other by him.

He was laid down to his place. The lights were hurting his eyes.

He looked beside him. She was there. Equipped with an oxygen mask, the respirator, and all other apparatus that meant to save her fragile life.

His bed on the other hand is empty. He was given some fluids intravenously. He felt the needle- quite painful. He once again looked beside him. The sight was even more painful.

The doctors were preparing the anesthesia.

Once this is given, he will never wake up.

Athrun looked at the needle, then to the ceiling. Blinked twice.

**Closed his eyes.**

On the other bed, Cagalli started to gain consciousness. She opened her eyes slowly.

Saw a man beside her with his eyes closed. The anesthesia was first given to him.

She doesn't know who he is, but with some instinct, she began to reach out, with her weak hands trying to reach him.

The doctors were startled upon seeing this.

Athrun once again opened his eyes. His vision was already blurry. But he saw her, reaching out.

He gave her a reassuring smile.

The last words on his mind echoed as silence started to engulf his whole being.

"**I'll find the way… I promise…"**

He was running- towards a pillar of light. He saw his parents- Lenore and Patrick, smiling at him. Then he saw Nicol, all of his other friends in ZAFT, and all other people the he once knew, but have gone ahead.

He looked back to where he came from.

A vision of a girl, wearing a white dress slowly fades away from him. He ran after her, and called out. But the words were never said.

She turned and smiled.

He knew she must go.

So did he…

The cardiac monitor on Athrun's side showed a flat line.

Cagalli's side told the opposite.

She's alive. He's dead.

One of the doctors went outside to deliver the news.

Kira, Lacus, and Shinn were in Cagalli's private room- waiting…

The doctor came in and said, "The operation is successful. Congratulations."

Kira smiled in relief.

The expression on Shinn's face was unreadable.

Lacus cried.

"Aren't you happy with the news," Kira asked. He looked confused.

Shinn held Lacus and gave her a sorrowful eye.

"No… I can't…" Lacus replied, understanding Shinn's message.

"What?" Kira was a beginning to feel bothered.

When none of the two replied, Kira went straight ahead to the operating room.

He was about to enter the sterile area when two nurses approached him and told him that this place is off limits.

"Sir, you must not go inside."

The door opened. The donor's corpse was being carried, covered with a white blanket. Kira's heart began to feel heavy. He approached it… closer…

Removed the cover.

A sudden cry was heard inside the room. Everyone stopped. Time stopped.

"Athrun!"

Outside, the rain was beginning flood the streets.

The tears Shinn's shoulder was starting to spread deeper...

Lacus was crying in his arms. Never stopping.

Kira was on his knees. Shivering.

_The ancient bruise_

_Of a warrior who has fallen_

_I see him torn in half…_

_The surface of the deep melody_

_My heart will never define_

_You will never be mine_

_Too good by nature and sinned by mistake_

_You will never be mine…_


	19. Life without You

_**Life Without You**_

_I grieve for the leaves that have fallen_

_For the sky that was painted with sorrow_

_For the life that I have to go through_

_For the day I would live without you…_

For two days, no one ever saw Cagalli. She locked herself in her room, and never spoke to anyone.

Time was never a friend. It always has its way of bringing torture to anyone that goes under its spell.

Kira was one of its slaves. For two days, he hasn't had a decent sleep. Refused to eat any. Always waiting for her to come out of her room.

It was the second day without Cagalli in sight. Kira decided to get the keys and check if she's doing fine. This was the third time that he thought of doing this, but he always hesitates. Always holding back what he wanted to do…

Half-past five- it's already sunset. Her doors were still closed. Within twelve hours, he waited for them to open. Standing like a fool for fifteen minutes… with his feet already itching, wanting to go inside.

He decided to open her door.

The keys screeched as they slide against the lock.

He stepped inside…

It's like he'd gone to another place. It was dead silent. He could almost hear his heartbeat.

Troubled.

"Cagalli…" he said with a weak voice.

He went further inside.

There she was, curled into a tight ball with her eyes locked at a distance he couldn't measure.

He sat by the bed and took a deep breath. Reached out and stroke her hair.

"I… I'm sorry."

No reply.

Tears were hurting Kira's eyes.

For minutes they were silent. Then she rose and faced him. Her eyes were almost shut, and she looked very pale.

"Why… did _he _do it?" she almost whispered.

Her golden brown eyes were filled with guilt and pain. Kira looked at them. He was looking at her, the way he did when she was still sick.

His eyes, filled with unrequited love.

"Because…"

"Because _he _loves you…"

"… Very much, that he willingly died to save you."

His tears were flowing and he couldn't hold them back. He was crying for some reasons that he couldn't understand.

Maybe, for the loss of a best friend.

Or for the grief of his sister.

Or, for the love that he felt which he must choose to end.

"I'm regaining my memory. You see, I already remember some things… that happened when I became an _extended_."

Kira's heart skipped a beat.

_Did she remember everything… about us?_

Both of them wanted to say something, but the silence between them was like a thick wall, hard to breach.

"Thank… you for your affection…for the ring," she finally said.

"I should say sorry to those that I've hurt. That's the least thing that I could do. For I could never bring _him _back."

Her words had an awakening effect on him. He decided to confess.

"What I felt back then… for you… was real. I… _did_ fell in love… with you."

Silence followed.

Cagalli looked away from him.

Then she spoke.

"**I'm sorry…**"

He understood. He wiped his tears with his hands and smiled.

"So, are you going to sit there and waste everything that _he'd_ done?"

"No," Cagalli answered with conviction.

_**For rarely the truth makes everyone happy. But it always gives us pain…and relief**._

After that day, Cagalli went out of her room and faced the world ahead. Never looked back.

She was again seated as one of the representatives of Orb Union, about a year after.

Her people knew her as the "Goddess of Victory"- and she lived up to her title.

Lacus and Kira got married, the same year when Cagalli was nominated as the chief representative of Orb Union. They had twins, and named one of them after Athrun.

_For I must go on standing_

_I'll wake up and face the sun_

_Although it hurts my eyes_

_I'll see there in the skies_

Everyone must move on. Time has passed and wounds heal, but the scar will always be there. Though it lacks pain, it gives remembrance of something, which should not be forgotten.

**This is the second to the last chapter. I'll post the next one shortly. To those who have patiently read this story, thank you very much.**


	20. A Million Parachutes

_**A Million Parachutes**_

It was the fifth of July- the day when Cagalli opened her eyes and looked at the world with a different eye…

It was also the birthday of her nephews Andrew and Athrun.

She told Kira and Lacus that the twins must celebrate on her house and the couple agreed.

It was a sunny day and the clouds are thin. No rain.

Lacus was fixing the birthday cake for the boys and Kira was setting up the table. Meanwhile, the twins were busy playing video games with their uncle Shinn.

They were expecting few guests, like Miriallia, Dearka and their nine-month old daughter Juliana. Meyrin and Luna will also be there, together with Yzak.

A reunion- minus one.

It's lunchtime and the guests have arrived.

"So, are we going to start without the mistress of the house?" Yzak said.

"She said she'll be late so I think we'd better do. The boys said they wanted to eat their cake," Kira answered.

"Shinn, aren't you going to pick her up?" Lacus asked.

"No. I know she has a lot of things to do for today. Personal stuff," Shinn said.

"Personal?" Luna was quite confused. "She's dating someone other than you?"

"That's not what he means sis," Meyrin answered. Somehow, she understood what Shinn meant.

Juliana was crying on Mir's arms.

"Hey baby, what's the matter?" Mir wiped her daughter's tears.

"Maybe she's hungry too," Dearka joked.

"Daddy, aunt said she'll buy us some gifts? I want to see them now!" Andrew complained.

"Aunt's a little busy so you'll have to wait. And don't give me that sour look Andrew," Kira warned.

On the other hand, Andrew's twin brother, Athrun remained seated and quiet.

"What's the matter Athrun? Aren't you happy it's your birthday? Mom did some nice cake for you two," Lacus said.

"Nothing mom. I just thought of …" The kid held his words.

"So let's sing the birthday song!" Dearka cheered.

Everyone sang and the twins made their wish. Then blew the candles.

There were five candles. Each stands for a year.

Five years, and more to come. Like a million parachutes, they will be spent as they fly to the heavens. They will never return.

She was driving alone towards a familiar place. The sunflower garden appeared as it did before- serene and lonely under sun. She got out of the car, holding a bouquet of white roses on the left hand, the car keys on the right.

The sun was too bright so she was wearing sunglasses.

"_It's nice to see you again, I never thought you'd come."_

The voice came from a fading vision of a man sitting on a granite tomb. His hair was long, like it was before, and his smile was still the same- boyish, yet deep.

She returned his smile, **as if he was really there**.

"Brought you some flowers," Cagalli spoke.

"_Thank you,"_ the voice answered.

Cagalli sat beside the tomb and looked at the skies.

_It was a very spacious place out there_- she thought.

_A million parachutes will never fill it._

The soft hum of the wind echoed in her ears. She closed her eyes and dreamed about the years that passed.

The silence was comforting. She was alone, yet she was not afraid. She knew he'll always be up there, watching.

She bowed her head and whispered a silent prayer.

She looked at her watch.

Three o'clock.

"I'm late…"

_**A million parachutes **_

_**Of feelings unsaid**_

_**Of words unheard**_

_**Drift like the clouds**_

_**Vanish like the air**_

_**I'll watch them as they fly**_

_**From my hands to the heavens**_

_**And burn at the sun**_

_**A million parachutes** _

_**Will always be mine**._

FIN


End file.
